Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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