how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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