JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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