In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
