Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
