He is an equal opportunity slut.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize