He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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