you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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