Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize