He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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