I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
