i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
