Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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