she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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