Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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