I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
