So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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