Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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