respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize