You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he puts the penis in happiness.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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