Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize