I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
