It's Friday. Sex?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
