So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
