How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
