he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize