i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
