if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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