Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm both gender and math confused
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
