my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Never underestimate the power of titties
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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