I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
