my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
