She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
