did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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