I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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