No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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