If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
