What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
