yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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