youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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