Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
