Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Do vagina's smell?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
