Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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