I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Pooping to opera.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
