I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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