Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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