Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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