hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
