Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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