this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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