The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
