I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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