What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
