Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
