Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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