I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
