I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
