I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
