After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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