from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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