He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize