I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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