I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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